In This Episode:
Three basis truths about personal growth
- Three basic truths about personal growth
- 5 Behaviors of leaders with high emotional intelligence
- We teach what we know but we reproduce who we are.
Three Basic Truths:
1. My Growth Determines Who I Am:
I can be effective and relevant this year, but if I am not growing and learning I will not be next year. Personal growth is not automatic, if I want to make sure I am a growing leader then I need to have a plan. Earl Nightingale “If a person will spend 1 hour a day on the same subject for 5 years, he will become an expert on that subject.” That is how far we can go when we are disciplined.
2. Who I am Determines Who I Attract:
You can’t fly with eagles when you run around with turkeys. In leadership we attract people like us, if we are growing and developing we will attract people like that.
3. Who I Attract Determines My Success:
I need to be able to attract people who will help me be successful. Some people have a high IQ but a low EQ (emotional intelligence), we need a high EQ to attract people. We need to look at where we want our teams to go, envision that team, are you the leader that team needs? Where do you need to develop yourself to get there?
Personal Development time needs to be one of the first things on a calendar. The pressures of life have a tendency to push out the priorities and activity does not equal achievement. You have to be able to schedule.
We have to embrace our personality, but we can address and modify our behaviors.
5 Top Behaviors of Leaders with high EQ:
1. Admitting and Learning From Mistakes:
Sometimes we buy into the lie as leaders that we have to be right all the time. When we admit we are wrong people do not think less of us, they think more. It builds the trust factor. You have to admit to being wrong and be willing to learn from it.
2. Controlling Emotions:
Whether we are explosive or we retreat with our emotions, we need to be aware, in control and conduct thoughtful discussions. An EQ leader understands that we need to connect, and emotions can get in the way of that.
3. Listen As Much As You Talk:
This takes awareness and discipline. A leader may take notes while others talk and only address the necessary points at the end.
4. Take Criticism Well:
We can learn more from criticism than praise, we just need to learn how to take it well. Taking criticism well is a behavior that needs worked on, and here is a way to do it- when someone criticizes we can’t take it personally; we have to direct it at our behavior. We have a tendency to identify ourselves by what we do, not who we are. We have to see where the criticizer’s motives are coming from. We have to ask whether what they said was to help me or hurt me. They may be 60% wrong, but if they are 40% right- they are 100% right about that.
5. Remaining Cool Under Pressure:
Keep short accounts- we cannot let things linger with teammates or family members. If we allow things to build up we will eventually hit a breaking point. We have to keep perspective on things.
- Evaluate myself- identify what behaviors I am good at and what I am poor at
- Become mindful of my nonverbal communications
- Reduce stress- if we manage our time better and we stop procrastinating we will be less stressed
- Manage Emotions- figure out why you are feeling the way you are feeling
- Practice Effective Conflict Resolution- figure how you are going to approach hard conversations
- Stay Positive- that doesn’t mean hiding from problems, that means being a grateful person